I believe it was last Thursday, my head was acting a little weird… but I kind of liked it. I was seeing things from different points of views and walking around in a fuzz all day.
I got home and started walking towards the front door to go inside because.. well thats what you do when you get home. And I almost made it to the door, but then I looked down at the ground and I saw a snail sliding along the garden hose that was wound in a circle. Now, a normal person probably wouldnt even think twice and continue along their way, but I havent seen very many snails in my life, growing up in the desert and all. So what do I do? I just plop myself down on the concrete and sit Indian style staring at it. I was mesmerized by this little tiny snail. I probably sat there for about 15 minutes just looking at it slide along. At one point I moved the hose and the the snail feeling the hose shake slowly went back into it’s shell. It was the neatest looking thing ever.
And then I realized…
In order for that snail to go anywhere it had to come out of its shell. Before it could travel along it had to take a risk and expose its soft slimy skin to the world around it.
After a couple minutes the snail came back out and started back on the same path it was taking before.
And then I thought. The snail is so much safer inside his shell, he could stay in his shell and he’d never have to worry about the dangers around him. But he doesnt. Every night he comes out of his shell and travels along. Does he even know where he is going? Does he care where he’s going? Why is he comming back out of his shell? It’s so dangerous! At any moment a bird could swoop down and eat him. I could step on him and crush him. But as sat there tranced by the snail slithering along, I realized this snail is 100 times braver than I am. He lives by slithering along in my front yard.In order to get anywhere he has to expose his most vulurable parts to world. It may not look like he’s making any progress, but slowly he is, and its a heck of a lot better than staying in his shell 24/7 and not going anywhere… right? Does it matter where he’s going? No, all that matters is that he is going somewhere, is that he is taking a risk and living.
I live day to day in my shell, I dont let anyone come in, and I dont really come out for anything. I protect myself from people hurting me… but am I really living? Am I making any progress. Am I only going to get somewhere when I finally make myself vulnerable?
I mentioned some of this to the lady I live with and her response was “Well thank the Lord I’m not a snail!”
Yeah we’re not snails, but have so much more respect for them now. They’re pretty brave if you ask me.
I went home to Yucca Valley for Thanksgiving and I was so excited! I had a date night with my little sister Jessie. We went to The River in Palm Springs and walked around and hung out. We went into this crazy hat store and tried on all sorts of weird hats. It was a blast. Then we went to Baja Fresh and I was about to order when I realized I didnt have my debit card with me. So we went back to the car to see if it had fallen out of my pocket in the seat and it wasnt there either. And the worst part was my license and AAA Club card were gone too! The three most important cards I own had misteriously vanished! So since I didnt have any money we went home. When I got home they weren’t anywhere to be found. I was sitting talking with my sister and out of nowhere I remembered I had put them in my bra. Crazy I know lol. I had checked everywhere but my clevage. My sister was mad that I had her worrying for nothing but I found it rather humerous.
Earlier that I day I went bouldering with Chelsea at Indian Cove. Indain Cove is this place right outside 29 Palms with huge rocks that are so much fun to climb. I love just spending a day out there wandering around and sitting on top of rocks feeling like I’m on top of the world. This time was particularly fun because it wasnt hot and because we were climbing as the sun was going down so all the colors and shadows made it 10 times more beautiful than it normally is. I really do love the desert. I think it’s so beautiful. Most people who live in Yucca Valley hate it but I loved it. The sunsets are amazing with out huge buildings in the way. It’s so nice to just go climb when your frustrated and not have a million people all around you. Just me and my best friend on top of a huge boulder with no one around.
So I was thinking about all the things I’m thankful for… and then I realized that I complain alot. So I am going to atempt to list all the things I’ve recently complained about and turn them into thankfulness
One) My Car
Thank-you that my volume button is broken so I dont have to worry about listening to music too loud and going deaf.
Two) Going to Work
Thank-you that I am able to have two jobs in a recession and that I am healthy enough to work everyday
Three) Not Having Enough Clothes
Thank-you that I have enough clothes to get me through the week. And thank you for forcing me to be creative to come up with new combinations of clothes I already have.
Four) Lucy ( a dog ) ate the scarf I was making
Thank-you for teaching me to not leave my stuff lying around
Five) All My Friends are Busy
Thanks for letting me have some time alone to genuinly think and figure things out for myself without being inturupted by others.
Thank-you that I have friends who genuinly care about me.
Six) Budgeting my Money
Thanks that I have enough money that I actually have to budget it.
Collecting cans instead of candy 
The group =]
